Addiction Crosses all Boundaries

Posted April 21, 2008

As parents you do your best to raise bright, ethical and responsible children. You watch them grow from toddlers to teens and sure we all scratch our heads and say his "mother or father (which ever the case is) must have taught him that…" but over all they seem to be alright and well adjusted.

When you start to notice he or she is acting strangely you think to yourself it’s just a phase he is going through, it will pass. You turn a blind eye to the sometimes obvious signs of addiction because that could never happen here. We go to church and we’re the ideal hard working family. Our son or daughter could not be abusing drugs. The day comes and it is impossible to ignore any longer. He’s been arrested or in an accident or comes to you and says Mom, Dad "I need help." Your heart stops and you can’t believe what is going on. How could this happen? What is the rest of the family going to think? What are they going to say at church about us?

You try to make a decision on what to do. As a parent you do not want to over react and you do not want the embarrassment of everyone knowing your son or daughter is an addict. So you hide it from friends and family and set strict rules for him to follow. You start by taking away the car or whatever measure of control you think you can enforce. Then maybe some counseling or something like that and you convince yourself that everything will be okay, maybe he just got off on the wrong track or he was hanging out with the wrong kids. Yes, that’s it - the wrong kids - that’s the problem. You use any excuse to stop the pain you are feeling over "what did I do wrong"? How did we fail as parents so badly?

Well the story goes on but the thing we all have to realize is that addiction knows no bounds. Addiction has no prejudices. Over the past 20 years I have seen addicts from all walks of life; big cities, small towns, the son of a Police Chief, the daughter of a pastor, collage graduates from Ivy League schools, 13 year olds to 68 years olds. You name it, every boundary has been crossed, even Drug Addiction Counselors can not always protect their children from the throws of addiction.

The best advice anyone can give is when you think something is wrong pay attention. An addict will always say everything is fine, "no problem here" - and as parents we want to believe that. But if you feel something is wrong or your child is acting strangely, it’s because they are! If your child lives at home, go out and buy a drug testing kit from the pharmacy and ask him or her to take it. If they throw a fit and say "that’s bullshit, you don’t even trust me" -do not feel like you have hurt the situation because if they had nothing to hide they would smile and take it willingly. Do not let them manipulate the situation and make you feel like a traitor. You are trying to save their life.

Finally, do not let your embarrassment over what someone else is going to think stop you from getting the right help the first time. If your kid has a problem with drugs or alcohol do not take it lightly. Call a professional that has been through this situation before. Do not follow the old saying they have to hit bottom before you can help them. Prison and Death are the rock bottom for an addict. Family support is important for recovery. Getting away from their home turf so they can focus on their recovery and not call someone to pick them up every time the have a bad day is also crucial to successful recovery.

For professional help call 1-866-599-7342

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